Murder on the Dancefloor
by Sasi-in-Wonderland
Summary: A small AC AU Humor Story, requested by my best friend. Sorry for the crap i wrote xD


**~ Murder on Dancefloor ~**

 **by Saskia H.**

WIP: Yes

Pairings: M/M; F/M

Genre: Romance, Comedy; Genderbent

Main Pairing: Reginald Birch/Edward Braddock

Sidepairings/Characters: Haytham Kenway/Shay Cormac; Gwendolyn Starrick/Jason O'Connor;George Washington/Connor Kenway, Charles Lee, Thomas Hickey

Disclaimer: All Characters belong to Ubisoft except

Gwendolyn Starrick belong to the author, Jason O'Connor belongs to a friend from whom i have the permission~

Inspiration Credit: Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Murder On The Dance Floor

Summary: Birch heard about a dancing competition with a special price which he wants to get. And knows no limits to get his aim together with Braddock. Characters may be Out of Character so beware and enjoy! Let the Competition begin!

It was a normal Saturday Morning in the House of Reginald Birch and Edward Braddock. Reginald snuggeled up against his lover in bed mumbling some words, still half asleep while Edward stroked softly his hair. Reginald slowly opened his eyes and looked around, wondering what day it was.

"I have to get up else i will get too late to work!" Reginald claimed turning around to look at Edward. "Don't be silly, Reginald, it is Saturday, we are free today" his lover replied placing a kiss on his forehead. "However we should have breakfast" Reginals said smiling while getting out of bed pulling over a bathrobe. "You're right, i am quite hungry!" Braddock said, leaving the bed too and getting dressed. Both usually were sleeping always naked.

Reginald stood in the kitchen making breakfast and brewing fresh coffee and tea. He served everything on the table and sat down as Edward went to the door fetching the newspaper on the floor and brought it inside laying on the table. "Anything new, Edward?" Reginald asked him staring half at the newspaper and half at him while eating. "I haven't read it yet but you can go ahead." Braddock said while shoving the newspaper to his lover. Reginald grabbed the newspaper and started to read it. "Advertisement, Advertisement, Advertise..." he stopped and caughed as he almost choked on the food. Edward immediately stood up and beated the back of Reginald. "Everything okay?" he asked him. "No! Of course not! Look at this!" Reginald said frustrated while he showed him the headline. "Those again..." Edward mumbled while reading the showed headline of the newspaper. It was about Haytham Kenway and his right handed man Shay Cormac. They won a price for leading a successful company worldwide. "They always get everything!" Birch hissed. "Calm down, Reginald..." Edward tried to cheer up his friend. "As if this isn't already bad enough read who is on the second place!" Reginald said. Braddock read through the lines "Gwendolyn Starrick and Charles Lee and the Starrick Industries..." Edward mumbled. "Yes!" Birch said frustrated. "I don't understand why we aren't that successful..." he sighed. Edward patted Reginalds shoulder. "You know what? I think we should get some distraction and go out tonight, having a bit fun together..." Edward winked. "I am not in the mood for that, Edward!" Reginald said. "Hm..." Edward said while turning page to page in the newspaper to get to the events. "Maybe here is something interesting for you" Edward said showing Reginald the page to look over it. Reginald read through the lines "Dancing Competition... win a 1.000.000,00 € Goblet with Diamonds..." he mumbled. "Diamonds..." he looked up dreamily. "Edward, i want to win the price!" Reginald said motivated. "If that is your wish i will do it with you." Edward smiled. "But do you think they let male couples dance? Society is fucked up sometimes..." Reginald mumbled. "As if you ever cared about that..." Edward said while he pressed Reginald against the table a bit and kissing him passionately. "But if it concerns you... we still have that artifact which could turn you into a woman." Edward whispered into Reginalds ear. "Let's do it..." Reginald whispered back.

Edward starred at Reginald. "So, how do i look?" Reginald asked him swirling around in the room. "Well, even if i am not interested in women but i would do a exceptional case with you..." he said stunning. "Oh, don't make me blush!" Reginald grinned. "But how will you call yourself...? Regina..?" Edward asked. "Sure why not? Come help me finding clothes for us! Everything has to be perfect if we want to win." Birch said. After a while they got all clothes together. "Well if you won't be the homecoming dancing queen tonight, there is something wrong." Edward said as they both got ready. Regina looked at Edward "Oh, you little bootlicker" she smirked and kissed him deeply. "I wouldn't just lick your boots." Edward smirked back. "Tell me, Regina, can you even walk in these shoes?" he stared at her high heels. "Of course i can!" Regina said. "Why do i even ask..." Edward sighed. "Are you ready, can we go?" he asked her. "If you drive the car..." she smiled. "Of course!" Edward said and they went to the car driving to the event.

As they arrived the place was full of many people. Regina looked around. "Fuck..." she cursed. Edward looked at her "What's wrong...?" he asked her. But as soon as he asked her he already saw the reason by himself. Shay and Haytham were also attending the competition. "Why are they here...?" Regina mumbled as a young Woman in a pretty purple dress passed by. "Didn't you read it? This competition is sponsored by Haytham Kenways company" the girl smiled and continued walking. Edward looked confused at Regina "Wasn't that Gwendolyn Starrick?" he asked him. "Yes, that bitch... so this competition will be full of assholes and bitches." Birch hissed. "Don't worry, Regina, we will kick their asses by dancing." Edward said in a calm tone. "Indeed, we will." Regina replied with a devilish smile as Haytham walked by "Braddock, what are you doing here?" he asked him. "I am just attending this competition with my girlfriend." Edward replied. Haytham raised an eyebrow "You have a girlfriend?" he asked. A resting bitchface appeared on Reginas face as Edward slightly pushed his elbow in Reginas side. The resting bitchface turned into a sugarcoated smile. "Oh, Mr. Kenway it is my pleasure to meet you." she said while bowing slightly. "I didn't knew Edward has a girlfriend... anyway it's a pleasure to meet you too, Miss...?" Haytham asked. Regina continued smiling. "Regina Braddock." Edward replied quickly as Haytham looked confused at him "We are going to marry soon." he quickly added. "Well then, congratulations. Where is Reginald?" Haytham asked looking a bit distrustful. "He has the flu." Edward calmly said. "I see, well then, good luck to both of you." Haytham said and passed by. Reginas wrath was wiped out of her face. She just stared at her lover "Regina Braddock...? Did you just propose to me?" Birch asked. Edward looked at her surprised. "If you want so... you know, that I would do anything for you... either of you Regina and Reginald..." he smiled. Regina smiled back and pulled Edward in a close embrace "Then my answer shall be yes..." she whispered into Edwards ear. "But Edward...?" She asked while looking into his eyes. "Yes, my love?" he looked at her. "Let's kick their asses now." Regina smiled her evil smile.

Edward and Regina entered the dancing hall. It was breathtaking. An enormous decorated room. Enough space for everyone to dance. On the sides of the hall were placed several tables with drinks and a bigger table with the jury. Nametags were placed on the jury table: Charles Lee, Thomas Hickey. "As if it wouldn't get any worse." Regina mumbled. "Don't worry we will win." Edward replied and sat down on a chair next to Regina. "Nothing will stop us from winning. Even if i need to show no scruple." Regina said. Charles Lee and Thomas Hickey entered the room. "Hello Everyone!" Hickey yelled half drunk and swirled to his place. "Well that will be an easy one." Regina whispered to Edward. "Welcome everyone and welcome to our yearly dancing competition, sponsored as always by the successful Kenway Company with its successful CEO Haytham Kenway!" Charles announces as everyone was clapping. "My name is Charles Lee. Me and my workmate Thomas Hickey, who is already sitting there, will value your dancing skills. The winner however will take this masterpiece home!" He said and wanted to present the diamond gobled as he realized that Hickey was about to pour beer into it. "I'm so fancy!" Hickey sang in a drunk tone as Charles avoided him from doing his actions. Haytham facepalmed himself. "Thomas...not again..." Haytham mumbled. "Sir, maybe i should sit in the jury instead of him..." Shay, who was sitting next to Haytham proposed. "No, Shay." Haytham replied. "Why not?" Shay asked. Haytham looked at him. "Because first you and Charles would fight again... and second... the reason which is more important than the first one i want to dance with you and not with Thomas." Haytham smiled slightly. Shay smiled back. "Understandable... else it would end up in an accident propably." he chuckled.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, please excuse the short incident. I will now introduce every dancing couple to you." Charled announced and grabbed a paper to read up everything. "We start with our most loved CEO from the Kenway company, Mr. Haytham Kenway and..." suddenly Charles' voice went a tone lower with a slight undernote of hate in it "...his dancing partner Shay Patrick Cormac" he finished the sentence and especially toned the words dancing partner. "So he still has a crush on him." Regina chuckled. "You look quite amused." Edward realized. "Of course, dear, i am just thinking about all the things i will do to them this night." Regina said amused while Edward looked a bit shocked at her. "Hm...? Oh Edward i mean in a bad way... of course i will do something to you too tonight... but in a good way" she smirked and winked. "Okay, now i am relieved." Edward chuckled as Haytham and Shay stepped forward and bowed slightly and returned into their places. All looks were chained to Charles Lee again who continued reading the letter "The second dancers... let me hear an applause to my lovely second cousin, Gwendolyn Starrick, CEO of the Starrick Industries and her dance partner Jason O'Connor!" he smiled. Jason lead Gwen handgrabbing towards everyone and bowed down in great elegance while passing by she winked at Charles "You're so charming~" she smirked and went back to her place with Jason. "I don't think it's fair that her second cousin is in the jury." Edward mumbled to Regina. "He has to disappear.." Edward suggested. "No, they both have to disappear." Regina said coldly.

"The next dancing couple are George Washington and his Partner Connor Kenway" Charles said. Washington stepped towards the crowd while holding Connor close to him. "George isn't this a bit embarrassing..? I don't even know how to dance and my father is here.." Connor mumbled. "Don't worry, i will take the lead" Washington whispered back. Regina looked around. "So those are our enemies... that shall be interesting..." she smirked. "Indeed" Edward replied. "And last but not least our last dancing couple, Regina and Edward Braddock!" announced Charles with a glare. Edward took Reginas hand and stepped towards with her bowing in front of the crowd. "Weird that no one recognizes me..." Regina whispered. "But isn't that good?" Edward replied while placing a kiss on her cheek. "I guess" She replied.

"Now that everyone has been introduced, let me announce the rules and the flow of this competition. A song will be played and every dance couple will show us their skills. Hickey and me will assess your elegance and skills. No cheating! And now good luck!" Charles announced and started to play the music.

"Shall we..?" Edward whispered. Regina just nodded while her lover started to dance with her. "Let's see how the others around here are doing...and who to eliminate first..." she mumbled in a bitter tone and looked around to the other couples. Washington and Connor had their troubles with their moves. Haytham and Shay danced tightly together while lost into eachothers eyes. Gwendolyn and Jason looked like a typical teenage dream pairing just with more elegance. Of course other couples were dancing too. But Edward and Regina knew they wouldn't make it so they could concentrate on those three couples. "I think we should start with Washington and Haythams son..." Regina smirked and looked around that nobody was watching. "Help me..." She whispered into Edwards ear. Edward swirled Regina around and cought her to end the dancing move into an elegant move that Regina stretched out her leg wide enough that Washington and Connor stumbled over it and fell. The decision was easy: disqualified. "You know what i love about you, Regina?" Edward smirked and looked into her eyes. "No, Edward, tell me" she said in a soft tone that melted him immediately. "Your devilish ideas..." Edward grinned and danced with her. "Thank you" Regina said. "Now there are two left we need to be careful that we won't get caught... who will we take down next...?" Edward asked her. "Edward, here are so many couples... who get disqualified every second, no one will know... " She looked around again to their two rivals. "Next will be Charles' lovely second cousin~" Regina decided. "So what is your plan?" Edward whispered into Reginas ear while leading her dance. "Just move me a bit closer to them..." Regina mumbled. "Alright..." Edward replied and did as he was told. Regina pulled out her stringtanga. "Wait? You were wearing that?" Edward said surprised. She winked "Don't get aroused by the thought that i am now nothing wearing under my dress... we can do stuff later..." Regina said smirking. While she was looking to Gwendolyn and Jason. "You know, Jason... i am so glad that you chose me... and that you don't go to brothels anymore..." Gwen said while dancing her elegant dance with her lover. "Gwendolyn... it was a mistake i only did once... because of lonliness. You have been always my true love. Who would refuse to spend his life with such a successful lady like you... Seriously your father would be proud of you..." Jason replied to her while dancing. Regina looked disturbed. "Have you ever seen such a cheesy couple like this? So much sugarcoating that you want to vomit." Regina said bitterly. "Yes, it's as cheesy as them" Edward pointed over to Haytham and Shay. "We will work on them later..." Regina said. "Fine, but why did you pull off your tanga...?" Edward asked confused. "Haven't you heard about the scandal which was in the newspaper lately? That her "Lovely Boyfriend" visited a brothel and cheated on her?" Regina smirked and in one move she secretly hid the tanga in the clothes of Jason. "You are clever, Regina." Edward said proudly. "I know" Regina replied. "Now let's wait and see what happens." Edward said and looked over to Gwendolyn and Jason.

"But Jason..? If you repeat that mistake you are a dead man." Gwen said in a serious tone while dancing close to him. "I know, i wouldn't dare to make a mistake twice." Jason said while he leaned in to kiss her as Gwen saw something slipping out of his clothes. "What is this..?" she asked and reached out to grab the fabric and pulled it out. "What's that`? How did that come to my..." Jason started as a fist was already hitting his face hard. "I WARNED YOU WHAT IS THIS?" Gwen yelled and pulled Jason outside to start a merciless fight. Again a disqualified couple. "You're amazing, you know that, Regina?" Edward laughed. "You there!" Someone yelled at Regina. It was Charles Lee. "Me?" Regina pointed at herself. "Yes you, for a word." Charles said and pulled Regina out of the crowd. "You are sabotaging this competition! I saw it!" he claimed. "Oh really?" Regina said calmly. "And what will you do about that?" she dared. Charles wanted to raise his voice as Regina quickly held a cloth with chloroform under his nose and mouth. After a few seconds he passed out and Regina hid Charles behind the curtain. She went back to Edward "One problem lesser" she smiled happily. "What did you do?" Edward asked while she shrugged. "I don't think you want to know" she said happily. "Now there are Haytham and Shay left..." Edward said and looked over to them. Their dance moves were stunning. Everyone was hypnotized by them. They were clearly the favourites of the night. "Haytham... i really enjoy dancing with you." Shay admitted while looking with a sight full of love to his partner. Haytham smiled "I know, so do I, Shay, you are a great partner." Regina swirled her Eyeballs "Ohh Haytham you're such a greaaat dancing partner~" she imitated him. Edward chuckled. "Do you have a plan, Dear?" he asked her. "Of course, watch me and you take this..." she said handed him over a piece of butter and kissed Edward deeply before she walked to the table with the drinks. She looked to the left and to the right and opened her ring to pour some poison into a drink while Edward was trying to figure out what he should do with the butter which she handed to him. Regina smiled lovely while walking over to Haytham "Mr. Kenway it's pretty hot here, don't you think? Shall we have a drink?" she smiled her sugarcoated smile again. "Well i am thirsty indeed... would you excuse me for a minute, Shay?" Haytham asked. "Of course, Sir." Shay nodded and continued to dance alone. Regina handed Haytham over the drink. "Well, cheers Mr. Kenway, may the best one win!" she winked and drank her unpoisoned drink while Haytham was drinking the poisoned one. It didn't take long until he ran for the restroom. Regina smiled satisfied and gave Edward a sign. "Damn... she is such a sweet devil... even though i like her male form better..." he smirked and threw the butter into Shays direction who slipped over it and crashed with his head against the wall. Again a couple was disqualified.

Regina headed over to Edward and continued dancing. "So you reached your aim yet, Regina?" he asked her. "No... there are two couples left..." she looked around. "What do you plan...?" Edward asked. "The only way is... seducing." she claimed. "Seducing?" Edward looked at her while she was already to the way to the jury table. Thomas was sitting there still half drunk. "Oi, what do ye want, little lady?" he asked Regina. Regina smirked and leaned over the table real close to Thomas. She paid attention that she showed what she had. "Thomas Hickey is your name right...?" Regina looked at him playfully innocent. "Aye, that is." he said while looking at Reginas two big arguments. "Well Thomas... if you would let me and Edward win... i will reward you... tomorrow night... with... everything you want?" she said twirling her hair playfully around her finger. "Oh Yes!" Thomas said. "Good then" Regina winked and went back to Edward to dance the final round with him. "Will we win?" Edward asked. "Are you concerned that we will not?" Regina raised an eyebrow. "No, never" Edward smirked and danced with her. "OKAY LADS! THE WINNER OF THIS COMPETITION ARE...REGINA AND EDWARD BRADDOCK!" Thomas announced. "We did it!" Edward grinned. "We did!" Regina jumped happily through the dancefloor as Edward grabbed her and carried her to the stage. "Congratulations!" Thomas burped and put the diamond crown on top of Reginas head and gave the goblet to Edward. Regina and Edward smiled brightly in front of the crowd. Edward moved the goblet aside. "You know you are my most precious price..." he whispered into her ear. "Oh Edward..." she smiled happily. "My Lady of destruction." he chuckled while he pulled her close and kissed her passionately. The crowd cheered. "What shall we do now...?" Regina asked Edward. "Well now we have a price that they don't have... and now... we will marry, as soon as possible!" "Agreed" Regina said. Edward smiled and carried his lady of destruction home.

 _To be continued_


End file.
